Sunshine in the Winter

Well once again it’s been a long while since my last post. So much has happened since my last post, I  completed my first semester of Hillsong college, I was blessed to be a part of Hillsong conference 2014 – which can I just say was mind-blowing! Mmm what else, I celebrated my one year anniversary with Tim and I cooked my first lasagna away on my own. So let’s be real..it’s been a productive time.

This past weekend I had the awesome opportunity to visit my family in Brisbane, Queensland. I flew in on Friday 18 July and before I knew it I was already back in freezing Sydney

.

My trip to Brisbane was spectacular, was such a blessing to see my family that I haven’t seen in over 10 years and was absolutely spoiled by them. I loved the city of Brisbane, most of all I loved the sunshine. We went to the Gold coast for the day and well I found myself more than at home with my feet in the sand, salty breeze in my hair and sunshine beaming in my face -  heaven!

Can you believe in the dead of winter, there I was soaking up the warm sun! Who knew just an hour and 15 minute flight away was a place that reminded me of home.

Finding the sunshine in winter made me think a little bit about life.

Finding sunshine in winter was like …being welcomed home by my lovely Guatemalan friends, Ale and Christian who are such a blessing – and gave me a ride home.

It’s like… coming home to your roommate and housemates you haven’ t seen in weeks  and catching up over lost time

It’s like the realization that you have Monday off and can sleep in – and yes I slept in till 12pm ;)

It’s the feeling of peace and ease that I don’t have to struggle with money this month because my uncle and aunt blessed me with some extra money.

It’s like the feeling of being so refreshed after a weekend away and being ready for the next semester!

So it’s basically like CHRISTMAS in July, which it is indeed! Despite the cold, there is love and sunny happiness!

Much love

A little thing called GRATITUDE

So I’ve been living in Sydney doing Hillsong life now for almost 5 months and one thing that keeps flashing it’s face at me is a little thing called GRATITUDE.

//God

Now more than ever I have been in total awe and gratification to God for getting me to where I am today, living my dream and being able to learn and make way for greater things. In the beginning I found it SO easy to complain about the little things;

…I don’t have a car so now I have to walk

…I don’t have a job so have to be extremely cautious of my money and only buy essentials

…I have little to no free time and a very full college schedule etc…

BUT then  I had some realizations…

…I don’t have a car, so now I walk, which means I get an hour of fitness every day, also means I am healthy and capable of getting to places on my own, even get to experience the adventures of public transport. Thank you Jesus!

…I don’t have a job, YET, giving God so many opportunities to open my eyes to receiving blessing, see the love and generosity in people to bless me and also teaching me how to handle finances. Thank you Jesus!

…so I am tired most of the time, but why did I use to see this as a bad thing? Being tired means I’ve had a full productive day. I’ve been placed in the most active serving areas which requires my utter most attention and reliability. This may not be soon as ‘cool’ to a college life student but I now see it as the biggest challenge for me to grow- Bring it ;) Thank you Jesus!

Joel A’bel once said how do we live in gratification? Simple- Learn the most you can out of life because God is more interested in who you are BECOMING than what you simply can achieve right now.

//Parents

Only when you move away from home do you realize how freaking amazing parents are. Honestly would have never been able to come to college without their support. So thankful to God for giving me parents who have NEVER questioned what I want to do with my life, ALWAYS support me (and my expensive dreams) and always make me feel like everything is going to be okay.

//Family

Been so thankful for family and their love and generosity to me here in Sydney. Family I have not seen in years have just showered me with phone calls and support as well as family friends here in Sydney that have blessed me beyond words with meals, furniture, airtime, rent money etc.

//friends

God has been so good to have blessed me with such a lovely house of girls here, making my house a home. Making good memories and more than that meeting some new friends in the different serving or learning areas of college has been inspiring and just such a blessing. Secondly being here made me realize how crazily grateful I am for amazing friends back home that are so supportive and just so great with maintaining deep friendships with mail, skypes, messages, texts etc. Man I miss them, I am seriously surrounded with people of gold!

//Church and support

To all the support I got from church back home, I am so thankful for every prayer and word of encouragement. To the wonderful couple who sponsored my air tickets, without them this trip would have been impossible and their investment in my growth and potential was just so encouraging to this day!

//Timothy

Moving overseas choosing to leave your loved one behind is never ever an easy thing, every other day I still get those moments that I wish I could hop on a plane to just see his face but I know for now God has called me to be here. But I thank God for Tim every day, he has been the most loving, committed and caring man. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be blessed with such a kind hearted guy who is not only such a beautiful creature (haha) but so talented and in love with Jesus. I chose a man who allowed me pursue a deeper love for Jesus, a man who always gives me the freedom to follow my dreams. So I guess at the end of the day I am just so ridiculously thankful to have Tim in my life because his life shines JESUS more than any human in my life.

Life is too short to not be thankful for the little details. xxx

The Leap… challenging your heart and lifestyle. #youngandfree

So I think the thought of the future is half and half for me... half scary half ‘ I- can’t- wait -excitement’. Today I received my certificate for enrolment to Hillsong College 2014. A lifelong dream I have wanted to do since grade 8. It’s almost weird now, being older that these ‘dreams’ can actually come true.

On the other hand it’s a scary thought, leaving al you know behind you, leaving PE, my home town for the past 23 years. I come across people always wanting to run from this place, patting me on the back for ‘finally getting out’. But I don’t see it like that; I love my city, the simplicity of it, the chilled life, small town, friendly faces. I KNOW it all too well. Yes, I am a creature of comfort and I dislike change… so 2014… will be one of the biggest changes my eyes will ever see.

Yet I can’t wait to see what Hillsong has in store for me. I can’t wait to journey with a bunch of new people from all over the world that shares my passion for worship and ministry. I can’t wait to finally be free to write music and play my instruments in an environment of musicians, I can’t wait to see how God is going to change me and mould me after the year.

To tell the truth I am too comfortable here, life’s a peach. Friends, family, a job, live by the beach, got a good man by my side, working with youth and worship and I am alive and healthy. What more could you want? Well everyone needs a challenge, what better way of challenging yourself when you at your most comfortable happy place in life!

One thing is for sure. I am a blessed. One of the biggest changes I had to go through this year was, well … I met the man of my dreams. No but really, haha I asked God for a very specific guy, VERY SPECIFIC. And the funny man upstairs decides to give me everything and more that I asked for! WHAT A DAD! It’s crazy looking back now, I am dating my Hillsong Boy and I haven’t even gone to Hillsong yet! The thought of long distance is a frightening one, BUT I also know that God is good and he knows best.

My mom asked me the other day ‘Kel are you happy to have a boyfriend?”

My answer “haha mom I’m not happy to have a boyfriend, I was perfectly fine before this, BUT I am happy I am with Tim”

It’s about the person and not his title ;)

.....................yip it's about to get lame and cheesey

He will probably never read this so I am a free bird writing what I want ;) But if I can sum up anything it would be that God brought us together because of our mutual desire and passion for worship and life! Something simple grew from small beginnings into a deep friendship that blossomed into something that makes me smile every day.

Timothy Heine, the man that challenges me to be even stronger than I was before, he inspires me to get closer to God and love God more than I could ever love him or anything for that matter. He taught me to see a whole new world of compassion and love for people. He taught me to be generous and give people my time and patience. He proved that getting angry is a waste of our precious time and he also showed me that honouring God with EVERTHING is the bottom line.

I am quite excited to see where God takes us in the future and pray he takes us to new heights in our ministries both separately and together.

So that’s it from me for now… thoughts for the day,

Peace xxx

 

 

Thursday thought: Chivalry at it's best!

Thought for the day...

A young gentleman, a chemistry student who had assisted me at a work week earlier this year, emailed me asking a favour. This student always amazed me because he was just so ridiculously polite. He would take off his cap to greet other staff or woman in general, or he would just speak to his fellow classmates in such a kind and peaceful mannor.

Anyway in his email he would refer to me as mam, even though I'm possibly the same age haha and then just the words he used such as: "may I kindly ask a favour of you". Furthermore he would always answer when spoken to , reply to my emails stright away, help when needed.. well this all really made me think. When he came passed my office I made a point of saying that I really enjoy his politness, he is such a gentleman and he is going to make a lady very happy one day if he carries on like that ;)

Nevertheless, long story short. He kind of laughed, shyly and said thanks. He also added that it's something he is conciously working on. BUT what shocked me is his next statement, he said "Well is it a good thing, is it not maybe seen as a weakness?"

I look at this guy, stunned. and say "No, you sir are a true example of a gentleman and your humilty is really admirable, whoever made you think chivarly is a weakness is insane, so don't stop!"

Chivalry is never dead. In today's society it's just become watered down, and sadly become a norm that people in general don't have to set a super high standard to be polite anymore. The most beautiful thing to me is how a man will treat/speak to a lady, It's CHIVALRY at it's best. (mmm lucky for me I personally am blessed to have found a true gentleman to be part of my life too...haha but that's just my own story)

Okay, so I'm not a guy, do other guys see this as being a weakness amoungst other guys?
To be softer spoken, and gentle... To answer to a woman if she needs it... To care when it's not expected... To give utmost respect even if its not the norm in the world..

This is not a man bashing post at all, on the contrary I believe there are true gentlemen around. And if anything, as a woman, we need to encourage men, male friends, fellow colleagues, syblings etc to embrace the gentelman within. Pay respect where respect is due ;)


Keep it real xxx

Finding the strength to fight fear

Proverbs 31:25

 

To be a woman who is clothed with strength and dignity, she has to find within herself the courage and boldness to not doubt the things around her.

 

God has chosen woman to be his expression of emotion, his expression of vulnerbilty and beauty. With that comes the human side of insecurity and fear.

However PERFECT love casts out all fear, as a woman clothed in his LOVE, we need to understand that we are CHOSEN and given the ability to feel EVRYTHING and experience a million emotions. a gift? haha some would think it is a curse.

 

Its scary. its scary to be vulnerable. To be open. to have the courage to let others see you, to let others care.

And when the time comes when people dissapoint you, when you feel like nobody cares. That is when WE MUST LOOK UP and seek GOD for that inner strength to overcome our fears.

 

xxx

 

The butterfly theory

So wow. you know for many years I never fully understood how a girl could fall for a guy or what 'falling' even meant.

Being single at the age of 23, Ive always been the objective type seeing things from a 'by-stander' perspective. I saw many couples come and go, seeing the girl fall for her guy, the sparkles in her eyes, the happy face slapping smile that nobody could get rid of.... haha. Seeing couples happy and seeing their relationship develop and eventually after a few yaers (well in the good cases) get engaged or even married (ya thats what happened to many of my friends over the past 3 years)

Anyway I think being single for so many years made me some what blind to the fact that this 'butterfly' feeling can exist. FOR EVERYONE! So what type of girl am I? Im the independant girl, the busy body who works hard and stays strong. The girl who knows a lot of people and knows who she is. Im the type who has many friends, is half a tom boy/half a girly girl and the type who stayed away from relationships because they seemed complicated, I always used the 'I'm busy" excuse and well... I needed the right ONE, the one guy who could make me believe in the butterfly theory.

So what is this butterfly theory?

Well for the girls.... Theres so many ways to descirbe it, and you almost can't decribe it in words so the only way people would undertand is by saying they have legit BUTTERFLIES in the stomach ;) I guess it is different for each girl... mmm wonder if boys get butterflies??



The butterfly symptoms:

• think about the person alot... everything you see makes you maybe think of them or relates to a memory of some kind.
• day dreams... constantly.
• nervous/giddy/ stupid smile face when you know you going to see them soon
• feeling in the pit of your gut when you finally get to see him and they smile at you
• the feeling of wishing time could stop when you with him so that you can chill longer
• the feeling of NOT being humanly able to stop smiling
• the complete peace of mind you have knowing this guy is just perfect for you and that this was meant to happen in life
• the feeling of wanting to share every thought, dream, question with this guy
• feeling 100% safe and secure in their company
• that lame cheesy feeling you get on the inside of your chest and your heart just dies when he says stuff like "you are lovely" or "I am attracted to your heart" or" I want to look after you"---- I MEAN WHO THE HECK SAYS STUFF LIKE THAT?? who!!! kinda hard to hear words like that and fully believe the senserity behind them (not because it's not true... but just because wow... WOW... kind words kill everytime haha)
• the smile on your face when your screen lights up with a message from him
• the 'blessed' state of mind a girl just seems to be absorbed in and lives through.
• that moment when you can sit in a car and not even speak being absoluetely content being in another humans company and you can turn your head and say "I am happy"...
• well that's my butterfly theory.

Theory explained. I think I get it now. You know all the chick flik movies you watch and say I wow that can't be real.. but then you secretly want your own cinderella story? well BOOM be careful what you wish for, coz you just might get it.

Well when the time is right, when you are ready, when he is ready and well... when God gives the GREEN LIGHT to bless the both of you with the butterflies!

At the end of the day. Oh my word... if you find a guy that gives you these butterflies.. good luck living through each day hahaha. Treat him right and appreciate him, coz its so worth it!

 x x x

Worth it!

Dear readers...
Been a while ey.
Lifes been pretty much madness since I last posted.

So as life goes on and we grow up certain things happen that may or may not change your life forever.

As girls, we often keep things in our heads, then vent to each other for days, weeks and months on end. BOYS haha... oh the WAIT FOR PRINCE CHARMING seems like an endless wait at a bustop ;)

I myself, have kind of always just blown through the wind, praying and waiting. Waiting can kind of be a super annoying stage but ey we just have to get through. Been chatting to a few close friends lately about this and well it seems its an issue for most. Is the wait worth it?

If i can say anything it would be that if your SEARCHING AND CHASING for a relationship or for Mr Right to find you. It most likely wont happen. We get so consumed by being single or trying to find someone to fill that 'gap' that we actually miss life and maybe even missing something right in front of our eyes. Something thats been there for a while but our brains refued to see it because we were too self absorbed.
The best thing to do would be LIVE LIFE and LOVE IT. Girls with a quiet peace and stillness are happy girls. Its been a long time coming where I could finally feel that peace, its something a person needs to decide on daily. TODAY I WILL BE HAPPY AND BE AT PEACE. why?

Well for me, I can be at peace because in the Stillness I know he is God and God blesses his children and we are favoured.

My closing words for my question... is it worth it? worth waiting for Prince charming?
My answer is 5 parts
1. Dont wait for him, live life and become a princess you've been born to be first. Sort your issues and be content with life and your own struggles. Otherwise 'THE WAIT' will juist frustrate you to the pouint of losing hope. (and we dont want that)
2. IT IS SO WORTH THE WAIT. every guy you thought you ever liked, had a crush on, or that lame guy that hurt you or that boy who friendzoned you for years. BOOM now you can say "Thank you that it never worked out with any of those dumbies"
3. Ah man its all worth it when you in a car and there's that one person next to you that is just staring at you and pouring out his feelings. It us that moment when you realize. THIS IS HAPPENING! It's that same moment when you cant stop smiling and you want to vomit or scream or die or just hug him till he cant breath haha.
4. WAIT for the hero that will call you lovely, that won't be afriad to tell you how he feels, that won't be afraid of what is to come next and who isn't afraid to share his heart and trust the girl sitting next to him.
5. If you are waiting for that? IT IS WORTH IT!

PRINCES OF THE KINGDOM ARE TOO REAL. :)



Till next time xxx

Simple joy

So I've been thinking lately, we waste so much of our time striving for big explosions of happiness or the event that would bring ultimate contentment. What about the little things? What about everything else that we let slip by whilst waiting for something big to happen. What if all the little things make up for  the time wasted waiting for 'that thing' you have been waiting for. It's the simple joys that happen in dull moments which can bring us happiness if we let it.

Like turning around a bend and the traffic light turns green to go...
Like a friends saying they miss you on a wall post...
Like your mom buying you a packet of sweets when you get home...
Like finding a quality youtube video that keeps you laughing for hours..
Like a hug from a friend
Like a smile from a car guard or till cashier
Like a prayers from a stranger...
Being invited to social events without asking
A gentelmen opening the door
Receiving a reply straight after you sent a message
Getting home and supper is made
A friend letting his food go cold in order to wait for our food to arrive

It's the little things that can effect the big things.

Much love

What are we looking for?

Mattew 7:7 
 “Ask, and what you are asking for will be given to you. Look, and what you are looking for you will find. Knock, and the door you are knocking on will be opened to you. (NLV)

Sometimes what we WANT is different from what we NEED. Sometimes we may ask for things and have to wait for the right time to receive it. A purpose driven life is waiting and hoping with a steadfast heart for the things we have dreamed of, actively waiting and seeking for greater things, getting up and living life.

We should ask ourselves, are we ready for the things we are asking for in life? Maybe we have already received it but it just looks diferent from what we expected.


Expect the unexpected.Never give up hope. Keep asking.

Till next time xxx

Facebook Etiquette

Oh dear Facebook user...

Social media is so powerful, Facebook in all it's glory is probably one of the easiest means to communication these days. Facebook is easy, it's a good way to keep in touch, good way to share fun or intersting info, a cheap way to connect. The many uses, I could write an essay, photo-loving, music sharing, status updates, passing time during lunch or checking your home page during a boring lecture. Whatever it may be, yes even I love facebook and have no shame saying that I use it, alot.

HOWEVER, it has recently just occured to me (actually no that is a lie, I've seen it for years) where people have just become so absorbed by facebook that it become s a personal diary or love letter to their partner or a venting emo session.

I would love to know WHY? what inside a persons mind or fingertips would drive them to typing an essay as a status? or updating how much you love your person every few hours. Or MOTHERS please, it is social suicide writing soppy posts on your kids (sons especially) walls or posting photos of when they were babies. NOT COOL. haha oh man, cringe!

Okay maybe I'm wrong or do all these people forget just how public FACEBOOK is? And once it's out there in cyber space, it will always be there.

Keep it real x

The authenticity of love

Hello 2013.

It's been a while, but here's a thought.

This year I wish to challenge myself into what it really means to understand, not the soppy kind of romantic love that we always just think of when we see hearts or look ahead to that day we call VALENTINES ;)

No. I mean, our love in the true authentic meaning of it. Loving ourselves, loving life, loving God, having love for people, our friends, partners, family, the poor, loving our hobbies or our pets, I guess what I mean is underatnduing the in's and out's of our hearts and what is meant by "Being in love with LOVE". It needs to be more than a word or a song lyric or a feeling or passing emotion, it needs to be a state of being, a movement, a lifestyle.

I've recently decided to do some theologial reserch on the term LOVE. I think to some people the word is overused and perhaps even lossed it's meaning. To others, maybe its misundertood or even used against each other. To many it is a complex thing term that they don't know what to do with. But to those who get to feel it, experience it, a zeal for love in life it becomes quite simple...

1 Corinthians 13:3-13

³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

peace x

A fresh perspective on Faith and Actively waiting

You ever in a situation where things are just not working out and it sucks? And then someone say’s “just wait on God’s timing”…and you seem to wait and wait and wait and you get over the cliché words. Things are out of your control and you end up losing the thing you wanted to keep so dear to you.

So the context.

You know something so well, it’s a habit, could be your job or a person you like or a dream that you’ve always held onto or perhaps a stagnant friendship. But as you grow up and you change, seasons change, it seems like those ‘things’ you were hanging onto seem to be slipping away.

In that time it is tough to be in that situation, it feels like things are being ripped from you and you will never get it back again. But some small quiet voice in the back of your mind is saying “Don’t worry, BE STILL, WAIT”.

So you say to yourself, I’ll never find a better job, or I’m never going to find someone better than him or could I have done something different? Am I passing up these opportunities?

An awesome quote I heard the other day was this “FAITH has to post signs on it… SLOW DOWN and WAIT HERE”

I have no doubt in my mind now how true that saying is…waiting is for a reason and the BEST is yet to come. A while back I thought I couldn’t possibly find better than what I had at that time. But rip them away…and change a few things up in life. Suddenly everything has changed and I think to myself. What was I thinking before? That was only a glimpse of what I could have in life, a glimpse of what I could do with life.

Since that time, I have developed a serious love of self- time and just dwelling on life and future dreams. Keep dreaming big, they always say. And that is what I will do. Sometimes the good is taken away from you to prepare you for something even greater.

I can feel the dawning of an exciting new chapter, when it will begin? I don’t exactly know but the butterflies I get from just knowing that it will be better than the last makes me smile and gives me hope. Until then I will wait, actively not passively. Waiting is never forever, it is temporary.

Much love xxx

Quality over Quantity

I pose the question?

Wouldn't you rather have 10 good friends than 30 or 40 average friendships that seem more like aqaintances than anything else.

Getting older, I realized seasons change, people change and so do our friendships, I love fellowship and I love my friends but I firmly believe now more than ever that a "friend" is not classified as a friend if you ...

1. Only see them at one of your other friends birthday parties and say hello or goodbye.

2. Never get asked how you are or never receive any sort of trace via text message, house visit, heck even facebook or twitter ..a trace of friendship that is.

3. They only come to your events when thee is free food or all their close friends are coming.

4. If you wouldn't hang out one on one with them (and now obviously im not talking about say if one of your girlfrieds has a boyfriend and you think you and the guy should hang out in order to be friends, NO, usually its rather creepy to be hanging out with your friends boyfriend alone, unless you are his sister or cousin, I'm sure the girlfriend would agree.)

5. I guess the biggest test would be if you and a friend can still keep in touch if circumstances change and one or both now live in different cities or countries.

Friendships are maintenance, but a good maintenance, they need effort, from both sides. They are not single roads, they are two way streets!

Funny random story for the day: so a guy at uni today, who I have known for at least 4 years and even have on facebook and actually had coffee with a group of people many a time. Well he walked up to me and said "hi are you Amber?" so I looked at him and laughed saying back, "Are you kidding?"

So the man says "No really are you not Amber (insert confused and serious look on his face)?",

So I said in a polite manner "No I am not and well ive know you very years, so you should know what my name is."

The man walked along saying "So worry, well then what is your name, Lauren perhaps ey?" the end.

You see ladies and gents...THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF PURE CONFUSION, and no I wouldn't considor us friends. haha.

Till next time xxx

I now pronounce you "friendzoned". "Hi five my sibling".

I found myself having some good laughs and debates about the topic of “the friendzone” the other night and so after doing some research decided it was time for a bit of a blog post.

It seems like a pretty black and white thing right, “hey we are friends” …but NO. Sometimes you just have that ‘one’ friend who may mean something more to you but he or she thinks of you as one of their limbs or a brother/sister. Like any disease the Friendzone epidemic hits like no other, quiet, subtle and one-sided and slowly builds up until it takes over, like a bad habitual rash.

Okay so here we have a guy and a girl. They seem like really good friends right, but who likes who? Do they both like each other? Or wait, is the one poor soul just waiting on the other to finally notice that he or she is more than their “bestie”.

I think there are definitely the exceptional friendships where a single guy and girl can be “just friends” over a long period of time, but that’s different. I think in that case both parties just know that there is nothing more than sibling love ;).

Okay so I’ve borrowed a few ideas from numerous articles as well as compiled some of these signs from other friends, both males and females. What I’ve come up with here is a list of telling signs, I’d say if a persona experiences a few of these then well, shame for you. YOU ARE IN THE FRIENDZONE my dear…

So take them or leave them, believe or not. But be warned, be shocked and even take this as advice for future reference haha ;)

You are in the friend zone if…. (I’m just going to say it from a girl’s perspective but it goes for both males and females)

·         They say “you are like a sister to me”

·         They constantly just forget that you are female and call you dude, bro, my man, bra… ALL THE TIME (and okay yes, sometimes this does happen to friends that have this type of chilled friendship, but take it as a hint, If they call you BRO…chances are that man does not think of you as “FUTURE POTENTIAL”

·         He asks you about other girls or …your friends.

·         Forgets about you over long periods of time but then decides to be your best friend when he is bored

·         He just seems way to comfortable (If a guy likes you, surely the initial stages should have a bit of excitement and nerves, certainly not the comfort level of me and my granny)

·         Treats you like you are his mother

·         Asks for relationship advice

·         Excessive texts with lots of  information about himself and what he did in his day

·         Excessive self-disclosure (okay yes ‘getting to know’ each other is good, if you only met and becoming friends or when there is intention from both sides of possibly dating, but sharing your deepest emotions, family dramas or self-challenges with your ‘male’ buddy? ! RED flag, you might be getting the ‘friendzone’ card.)

·         He is willing to bake with you and is not gay

·         Wants you to hang out with his family but introduces you as one of his ‘dearest friends’

·         Only seems to be available when he need something (oh hello “friend-of-convenience-zone”)

·         If the guy says anything to the effect of “we have such a special friendship” or “I’m blessed with you as my close friend”, “You are my best friend”, “we are great buds”…FRIENDZONE

·         He buys you cards, frames, key- rings or magnets with the words “ friends forever on it, or best friends” (… friends forever and always you WILL EVER BE)

·         You can hang out alone, and he never tries a thing (relax, I don’t mean in the dodgy sense, I mean even just like simple flirting, throwing out compliments or trying to get on to the topic of relationships) If you and your bestie can hang out alone come day or night, you are in the friendzone.

·         He only wants to see you in the daytime

·         He feels the urge to fist pump or high five you. (Seriously, if a guy is fist bumping, and high fiving a girl, she might as well be his brother or fishing buddy)

·         If he uses any of the following in text messages

o   Hey buddy, bud, budlet, dude, dudet, mate

o   Hello my sister in Christ

o   Be blessed

o   Take care

o   All the best

o   Bless your soul

o   Hey my sister bud friend

o   Yo bro

o   Yo my man

o   Yo champ

o   Etc…. any of these, you guessed right, you are in the FRIENDZONE.

Now this goes without saying, sometimes it may be that both parties want to be in the friendzone, it is safe, easy, uncomplicated and it may even work for a while. If it works for both, great, go besties go, I wish you all the best with that friendship!! But if it is not working, get out and RUN.

Till next time xxx

A thought on CHANGE "We live and we learn"

So im busy reading an amazing book at the moment by Martin Smith. Wow a man of much wisdom.

He talks alot about CHANGE.

"Not in his goals but in his transitions man is great." - Ralph  W. Emerson

Smith reckons that CHANGE is the nature of contemorary life and that it is these 'transitional phases' that man goes through that proves his identity and charachter. good word.

We often meet people who say "yes i love change" or on the contrary we get others that say "I hate change, I love routine and order".

Truth be told, change is inevitable. Seasons come and go, and as people we CHANGE, and things change, are friendship groups change, our circumstances, phases of life, new jobs, moving to a new church or city or country even. one day we single next day we might find ourselves planning a wedding or beginning a family. One day we might be a student next thing we are in the working world.

But whatver happens, Smith puts emphisis on the TRANSITION. Tht its not so much the end goal that we should rely on or strive to accomplish but the journey through our transitional phases and chow those transitions mould us into the people we are becoming.

Towards the end of the chapter called "Keep the Faith" Smith says "transitions begin with an ending...Sometimes these endings are messy, sometimes smooth, sometimes terrifying. Often we have to takethose first steps in the predawn darkness"

He closes with this "When the wold is changing , we simply have to fix our eyes on something that never changes."

My new life motto has become this. "you live and you learn".. whether it'slearning from our family, friends, a tragedy, a mistake, an accomplishment, your pastor or a role model... we live and we learn. We never stop learning, we go though change, and the change moulds us and are charachters. We learn from our mistake or learn what works for us and what makes us happy or gives us joy.

peace xxx

the start to my morning...the use of time...wasted or useful?

The funny random pictures that made me chuckle this morning :)...they have utterly nothing to do with this post....

So its midweek, little saturday as they call it ;)

My thought for the day? is what do people do with their spare time? Ive always been the type of person who is just busy, ALL THE TIME. and no this is not always a good thing. Ever since I was in high school Ive always just channelled my spare time into doing 'stuff'.

 If I think of a typical week, I cant say I ever have one free night a week, or on a weekend there always seems to be some event, some birthday, wedding, engagement, baby shower,some band gig, some church function,a show or music concert perhaps or family affair, public holiday feasting or if not that by the end of the week you just need your social tanks to be filled so you force yourself to get out the house as apposed to sleeping or resting. As the quote goes, "sleep when you dead" right?

When I got to varisty in first year I was so shocked to find most of my classmates, had no hobbies or anything to do beside university. really wow?? I couldnt comprehend having that much time. But then again, maybe in little ways I would quietly envy the fact that they had so much time, I often wonder, how did I become this busy? hmmm think it's time to do some clean up and priority checks. I think I need some more me time ;)

After this year, I totally give respect to working people and will never tune them for why they want to have an 'early night' anymore.. haha I learnt the hard way.

Peace xx

the stepping stones

So been a while since I've blogged.

Past two weeks have been madness, but you learn and you live. So this is what has been some of my learning curbs...

1. the body loves sleep and rest, dont deprive it. It will show you who is BOSS and give up on you. Yes after a week of disturbed sleep and pulling all-nighters due to honours I came out after this weekedn, sick, tired and sincerly OVER everything haha! Lesson learned.

2. the next time I think im dreaming of the rain I WILL WAKE UP. So my drama for the week came at 230am on Tuesday morning... I thought I was dreaming of being in water and hearing the rain, but in reality, my room was flooding. Yes, indeed the geyser had burst and my room was no filling up with water. 5 days later, here I am, currently living on the floor in my study with 'stuff'. Room is bare and waiting for new paint, new carpets, new curtains, new bed, furniture. well that was eventful.

3. When life gets overwelming. STOP.

Theres a difference between being busy and being overwelmed. this past week, I dont think ive ever felt so stressed. Ever felt that everyone wants a piece of you, but they all have so many of their own issues that you feel like you cant share yours? well yes. ta da ;)

Its all about the mind at the end of the day. So when life hands you lemons and you have no evergy to whip up some lemonade, all I could do was sit back and stop. Just stop. stop. pause and reflect.

4. When your world is spinning. Pray :) the message lasnight at our church really hit home.

Life is all bout what we make of it, we choose to see things, to say things, to think things and to DO things. We need to constantly renew our mindsets to not be drowned out by the mess and drama of the world. Why are we always striving? what if the things we are contstantly striving for just never came. we need to find peace and contentment.

5. Remind yourself that lifes a journey not a race and you must always have the bigger picture in mind.

Keep it real xxx