The Modern day Deborah

Judges 4:7-9

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁷ And I will call out Sisera, commander of Jabin’s army, along with his chariots and warriors, to the Kishon River. There I will give you victory over him.”

⁸ Barak told her, “I will go, but only if you go with me.”

⁹ “Very well,” she replied, “I will go with you. But you will receive no honor in this venture, for the Lord’s victory over Sisera will be at the hands of a woman.” So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh.

What type of woman do you want to be?
The normal or the exception...

Deborah was the exception to the Rule, she was a brave leader, a warrior of her time!

She inspires us to act with authority, live without fear and listen to God for his wisdom!

This is no lady for the feint hearted, she was bold and ready for action! People admired her and came to her palm tree for council.

What would it look like to be a woman without fear, what would the world look like if woman stood in the gap and took up the seat of courage? How much more beautiful can a woman be, who is powerful yet with such grace and poise!

The story of Deborah is a tale about a woman who was aligned with God and served His will with fierce determination. She stood her ground as a leader! If woman could be this strong, how strong would her man have to be? In order to lead her, he would have to be twice as brave and strong in order to be worthy of submission by such a woman.

Living courageously, with no fear!

Happy weekend xxx

Thursday thought: Chivalry at it's best!

Thought for the day...

A young gentleman, a chemistry student who had assisted me at a work week earlier this year, emailed me asking a favour. This student always amazed me because he was just so ridiculously polite. He would take off his cap to greet other staff or woman in general, or he would just speak to his fellow classmates in such a kind and peaceful mannor.

Anyway in his email he would refer to me as mam, even though I'm possibly the same age haha and then just the words he used such as: "may I kindly ask a favour of you". Furthermore he would always answer when spoken to , reply to my emails stright away, help when needed.. well this all really made me think. When he came passed my office I made a point of saying that I really enjoy his politness, he is such a gentleman and he is going to make a lady very happy one day if he carries on like that ;)

Nevertheless, long story short. He kind of laughed, shyly and said thanks. He also added that it's something he is conciously working on. BUT what shocked me is his next statement, he said "Well is it a good thing, is it not maybe seen as a weakness?"

I look at this guy, stunned. and say "No, you sir are a true example of a gentleman and your humilty is really admirable, whoever made you think chivarly is a weakness is insane, so don't stop!"

Chivalry is never dead. In today's society it's just become watered down, and sadly become a norm that people in general don't have to set a super high standard to be polite anymore. The most beautiful thing to me is how a man will treat/speak to a lady, It's CHIVALRY at it's best. (mmm lucky for me I personally am blessed to have found a true gentleman to be part of my life too...haha but that's just my own story)

Okay, so I'm not a guy, do other guys see this as being a weakness amoungst other guys?
To be softer spoken, and gentle... To answer to a woman if she needs it... To care when it's not expected... To give utmost respect even if its not the norm in the world..

This is not a man bashing post at all, on the contrary I believe there are true gentlemen around. And if anything, as a woman, we need to encourage men, male friends, fellow colleagues, syblings etc to embrace the gentelman within. Pay respect where respect is due ;)


Keep it real xxx

The butterfly theory

So wow. you know for many years I never fully understood how a girl could fall for a guy or what 'falling' even meant.

Being single at the age of 23, Ive always been the objective type seeing things from a 'by-stander' perspective. I saw many couples come and go, seeing the girl fall for her guy, the sparkles in her eyes, the happy face slapping smile that nobody could get rid of.... haha. Seeing couples happy and seeing their relationship develop and eventually after a few yaers (well in the good cases) get engaged or even married (ya thats what happened to many of my friends over the past 3 years)

Anyway I think being single for so many years made me some what blind to the fact that this 'butterfly' feeling can exist. FOR EVERYONE! So what type of girl am I? Im the independant girl, the busy body who works hard and stays strong. The girl who knows a lot of people and knows who she is. Im the type who has many friends, is half a tom boy/half a girly girl and the type who stayed away from relationships because they seemed complicated, I always used the 'I'm busy" excuse and well... I needed the right ONE, the one guy who could make me believe in the butterfly theory.

So what is this butterfly theory?

Well for the girls.... Theres so many ways to descirbe it, and you almost can't decribe it in words so the only way people would undertand is by saying they have legit BUTTERFLIES in the stomach ;) I guess it is different for each girl... mmm wonder if boys get butterflies??



The butterfly symptoms:

• think about the person alot... everything you see makes you maybe think of them or relates to a memory of some kind.
• day dreams... constantly.
• nervous/giddy/ stupid smile face when you know you going to see them soon
• feeling in the pit of your gut when you finally get to see him and they smile at you
• the feeling of wishing time could stop when you with him so that you can chill longer
• the feeling of NOT being humanly able to stop smiling
• the complete peace of mind you have knowing this guy is just perfect for you and that this was meant to happen in life
• the feeling of wanting to share every thought, dream, question with this guy
• feeling 100% safe and secure in their company
• that lame cheesy feeling you get on the inside of your chest and your heart just dies when he says stuff like "you are lovely" or "I am attracted to your heart" or" I want to look after you"---- I MEAN WHO THE HECK SAYS STUFF LIKE THAT?? who!!! kinda hard to hear words like that and fully believe the senserity behind them (not because it's not true... but just because wow... WOW... kind words kill everytime haha)
• the smile on your face when your screen lights up with a message from him
• the 'blessed' state of mind a girl just seems to be absorbed in and lives through.
• that moment when you can sit in a car and not even speak being absoluetely content being in another humans company and you can turn your head and say "I am happy"...
• well that's my butterfly theory.

Theory explained. I think I get it now. You know all the chick flik movies you watch and say I wow that can't be real.. but then you secretly want your own cinderella story? well BOOM be careful what you wish for, coz you just might get it.

Well when the time is right, when you are ready, when he is ready and well... when God gives the GREEN LIGHT to bless the both of you with the butterflies!

At the end of the day. Oh my word... if you find a guy that gives you these butterflies.. good luck living through each day hahaha. Treat him right and appreciate him, coz its so worth it!

 x x x

Worth it!

Dear readers...
Been a while ey.
Lifes been pretty much madness since I last posted.

So as life goes on and we grow up certain things happen that may or may not change your life forever.

As girls, we often keep things in our heads, then vent to each other for days, weeks and months on end. BOYS haha... oh the WAIT FOR PRINCE CHARMING seems like an endless wait at a bustop ;)

I myself, have kind of always just blown through the wind, praying and waiting. Waiting can kind of be a super annoying stage but ey we just have to get through. Been chatting to a few close friends lately about this and well it seems its an issue for most. Is the wait worth it?

If i can say anything it would be that if your SEARCHING AND CHASING for a relationship or for Mr Right to find you. It most likely wont happen. We get so consumed by being single or trying to find someone to fill that 'gap' that we actually miss life and maybe even missing something right in front of our eyes. Something thats been there for a while but our brains refued to see it because we were too self absorbed.
The best thing to do would be LIVE LIFE and LOVE IT. Girls with a quiet peace and stillness are happy girls. Its been a long time coming where I could finally feel that peace, its something a person needs to decide on daily. TODAY I WILL BE HAPPY AND BE AT PEACE. why?

Well for me, I can be at peace because in the Stillness I know he is God and God blesses his children and we are favoured.

My closing words for my question... is it worth it? worth waiting for Prince charming?
My answer is 5 parts
1. Dont wait for him, live life and become a princess you've been born to be first. Sort your issues and be content with life and your own struggles. Otherwise 'THE WAIT' will juist frustrate you to the pouint of losing hope. (and we dont want that)
2. IT IS SO WORTH THE WAIT. every guy you thought you ever liked, had a crush on, or that lame guy that hurt you or that boy who friendzoned you for years. BOOM now you can say "Thank you that it never worked out with any of those dumbies"
3. Ah man its all worth it when you in a car and there's that one person next to you that is just staring at you and pouring out his feelings. It us that moment when you realize. THIS IS HAPPENING! It's that same moment when you cant stop smiling and you want to vomit or scream or die or just hug him till he cant breath haha.
4. WAIT for the hero that will call you lovely, that won't be afriad to tell you how he feels, that won't be afraid of what is to come next and who isn't afraid to share his heart and trust the girl sitting next to him.
5. If you are waiting for that? IT IS WORTH IT!

PRINCES OF THE KINGDOM ARE TOO REAL. :)



Till next time xxx

10 things a girl can’t live without

(well this girl at least)...

1.       Eye liner. The difference between looking dead or alive

2.       Lip-ice. No-one likes chapped lips, and everyone wants to borrow yours if they don’t have anyway.

3.       A bottle of water. Keeping hydrated is the way forward.

4.       Girlfriends on speed dial, or at least bbm or whatsapp ...so you can share your latest news or if you need to vent at 12am

5.       A dose of retail therapy. Shopaholics unite with smiles and joy.

6.       Ghd. Straightener, you have saved me from many bad hair days.

7.       Gum boots. So we can walk through puddles like a BOSS

8.       A phone. Always the safe thing to stay connected ;)haha

9.       Some spare change. Never know when you just need a mc flurry or a cuppa coffee to make your day happy

10.   Tissues. There is always a need to carry tissues with you, there just is. And no not just to cry or sneeze.

xxx

The “Vibe Dance” Theory…believe it…or not :)

“So what is going on with Harry and Sally?”

Some typical answers may be like: “Oh yes they are vibing” or “ There is defs a vibe there” wink wink ;)

So in today’s modern world with twitter,bbm, facebook I poke you, you poke me back …together with some old traditional face to face stages there has been a trend brewing up. WE call it “Vibing”.

In the past few years, with some real life observation and some helpful friends to agree with me, girls and guys agree on this nature of vibing. So what is this vibe dance, why do we call it a ‘vibe’?.

A friend and I once explained this theory to a few of our guy friends who were no doubtedly shocked and stunned by the utter truth of this theory, brace yourself for some laughs and shocked face palms if you have either been in this before, in it now or notice friends in this season of life.

Stage 1. Girl meets Boy

So at this initial stage, you would probably be out with friends, having fun and loving life, then you meet this girl or guy. What’s your first impression? These days, one or the other just goes home and invites the boy or girl in question on the BOOK of faces.

You probably go home wondering, wow what a cool guy or girl...potential indeed..mmm maybe to soon to tell? nevertheless the seed of the viber dance enters the brain.

Stage 2. Cyber Vibing

Cyber vibing can be as short as few weeks or it can go on for months.

So what happens here? It is here were the chemical effects start charging in the air, but instead of being face to face, your thumbs get to do all the work and do a little dance I call “cyber vibing”

So these are some of the clear signs of the cyber vibe dance (Oh and just to be clear, this is only opinion and not true to everyone, you do get the occasional flirt or oblivious guy or girl who do these things and then get themselves into a little bit of a sticky situation which would probably end up with an awkward chat.)

·         They like all your status’s or comment on everything

·         They speak to you on bbm or whatsapp throughout the day, making small chit chat for no reason

·         They love using emoticons, especially the ‘eye wink’ or excessive ‘smiley face’

·         Messages are lengthy with open ended questions

·         Sometimes you may even get the occasional message just to say “You rock” or “You are a legend” or “Just popping in to say Hi” (ag please,mmm Im sure you are just ‘popping in to say hi’)

Stage 3. Game face vibing

This is when real life now starts to seep through your cyber dance. This is the stage where for some ODD reason, you just start to see both his and her friendship groups coming together more often or he joins the girls group of friends or the girl lands up at his usual hanging out places.

Scenario: bunch of friends at a public place or at a braai, and the two ‘vibers’ just gravitate towards each other, next thing you know. It’s like everyone else disappears. The VIBE takes over and it is literally as if you had special glasses there would be energy waves between the two ‘vibers’ (Warning, don’t be THAT awkward third wheel that tries to cut into their conversation, trust me, you will feel them energy vibes in the air)

Stage 4. The fork in the road

So this is where cyber vibing has generally died down and there is now just the daily text, bbm, whatsapp or phone call.

The tricky part now is that the ‘vibers’ can continue their journey down a little path we like to call ‘the umm friend path’ which could end in 3 ways.

1.       The Ideal: Boy man’s up and asks girl out

2.       Girl has had enough and asks the boy to have the ‘chat’ (could have a good or bad outcome)

3.       The vibe dance between the ‘viber dancers’ carry on for a while and then after some time the dancers get tired, take a break, one or the other sit down, game over.

So there it is, I wouldn’t say any of this is factual but it is founded on various observations between real life friends. Definitely any girl and guy could be the exception to this rule. HOWEVER, even if you are shy to admit, at some point in your life I’m sure you did a little vibe dance, maybe two ;)

Keep It real xx

The Theory of Cupcakes

So my theory still needs some research but I think I may be onto a trend, a trend that girls may or may not want to say 'yes that's me' ...ALAS whilst chatting to some girls in the past few weeks it has come to my attention that maybe indeed the thought in the back of my head was indeed true.

Do girls bake cupcakes to impress a boys?
Does she wait in anticipation for his reaction, impressed, sure he will be, if you lucky maybe even his mother?
Does she stand proudly claiming the rightful claim as 'cup cake' maker for the one who catches her eye.

I did some research recently...so google could lie, but here some fun opinions anyway.
One woman said...." I’m a baker because cakes help me out of a jam from time to time. I’m a baker because brownies attract quality men.
Let’s talk about boys and baking. Boys like cookies and pies and coffee cake with lots of crumb topping.
If your particular boy doesn’t like baked goods… I’m afraid I don’t understand. He’s weird. I’d question his motives"

You know how boys… the good ones, at least… bring flowers to a first date? well what if our secret way of showing that we are 'into' them was through domestic skills and baked good?

And maybe it goes even more indepth than that, maybe baking is a sign of proving that you are a true lady, feminine in design, it could possibly be to impress you lady friends...dont get me wrong, you do get the exceptions, those lovely ladies that just have a passion for baking as they wake up in the morning. But let's be real...not all of us are blessed like that without some kind of motivation. Surely?




Whats the big deal, people would say? Even maybe the baker herself would try convince and justify perfectly fine reasons for why she is slaving away, getting flour in her hair and baking up a storm.
I would say its maybe a little bit of DENIAL. Of course the boys in this theory get off scott free just thinking, YAY CUPCAKES for my face!

So maybe i have it all wrong, but what if even 20% of what I am saying is right?
I guess the proof is in the pudding, as they say! Maybe other girls just bake because they have free time and a mission to make people fat. who knows. All I know is that baking comes form the heart, so there must be some kind of emotions linked to it.

I hope everyone finds the one guy they can say " he's the only boy I will make cupcakes for"...
Moral of the story, baking for boys (that arent your boyfriend) basically puts up a sign on your face that says 'I think I like him, so I am making a public display of my intentions,other girls leave him be or I will smash you with the cupcakes that took me five hours to make" (Okay maybe thats a bit of an overstatement, but hey the vision of a girl doing that is pretty funny).

At the end of the day while waiting for the guy you want to bake for...I guess we can always buy sponge cake from spar or bribe our mothers to do the baking (haha that always works out as a win win ;) ...and if you want to bake in the meanwhile...bake for the masses, sharing is caring!

xxx

Pet Peeves indeed!

So in every girls life there is just that list of things that annoy her to her death.Well I am no different.
I often wonder why do some things irritate poeple and do not bother someone else at all? Like really, touch my hair..I KILL YOU! I wonder if i would ever grow out of my little pet peeves, come on, everybody has to have them, if you dont, well lady you are lying to yourself.

Well here goes my list for today! You may call them first world pains to some degree haha...

1. waking me up before my alarm clock goes off

2. You start a conversation via text then dont reply back after

3. Argue with me that you are right even when you wrong

4. asking to check what is on the other channels when im clearly watching something

5. Playing with my hair

6. watching me while I work
7. Saying sorry, for something you repeat to do
8. Leaving dirty washing, plates or wet towels around the house
9. Not finishing a drink and sending it back to kitchen
10. People not tipping at a restuarant
11.someone pulling out your charger when you busy charging your phone

12. Saying you will reply later and then forget

13. hugging me in the middle of a conversation or for no reason

14. asking me to get you something to drink once youve clearly seen me put it back away in the fridge, seriously you could have asjed 5 seconds ago.

15. when you have to wait for a picture to load on the internet, geeez

ahhh Vent.com. haha come on, every girl has her list. Mine could possibly be longer but hey thats all I could come up with right now ;)

It's what girls do...

Weekend is nearly over and what a top weekend it was. Spending some quality time with some top ladies, some old and some new.

So lastnight I got invited to a 21st, but i didnt know anyone going. nevertheless I went and find myself chilling with three girls and before we knew it we were tight?
Why? well what can all girls relate and bond over? yup BOY talk haha.

Theres something about sharing about what is happening in your own life drama with other girls that create a sense of trust and a bond like no other. Leaving the party early we even went back to one of their flats to contine our lady like chat!

Over some tea and some great laughs, we bonded and got to know each other through the stories of our past relationships, state of singleness, loss during breakups and new found flames or potential. Girls love communcatiuon and self disclosure, we could go on all night. what is the best is finding similarities between each other stories and having those 'ahaa' moments and saying 'I feel you, I went through the same thing'. Amazingness.

I always wonder do boys ever have such chats? well one thing is for certain, sharing is caring and finding new friends is defenitly a treasure found in Port Elizabeth.