I now pronounce you "friendzoned". "Hi five my sibling".

I found myself having some good laughs and debates about the topic of “the friendzone” the other night and so after doing some research decided it was time for a bit of a blog post.

It seems like a pretty black and white thing right, “hey we are friends” …but NO. Sometimes you just have that ‘one’ friend who may mean something more to you but he or she thinks of you as one of their limbs or a brother/sister. Like any disease the Friendzone epidemic hits like no other, quiet, subtle and one-sided and slowly builds up until it takes over, like a bad habitual rash.

Okay so here we have a guy and a girl. They seem like really good friends right, but who likes who? Do they both like each other? Or wait, is the one poor soul just waiting on the other to finally notice that he or she is more than their “bestie”.

I think there are definitely the exceptional friendships where a single guy and girl can be “just friends” over a long period of time, but that’s different. I think in that case both parties just know that there is nothing more than sibling love ;).

Okay so I’ve borrowed a few ideas from numerous articles as well as compiled some of these signs from other friends, both males and females. What I’ve come up with here is a list of telling signs, I’d say if a persona experiences a few of these then well, shame for you. YOU ARE IN THE FRIENDZONE my dear…

So take them or leave them, believe or not. But be warned, be shocked and even take this as advice for future reference haha ;)

You are in the friend zone if…. (I’m just going to say it from a girl’s perspective but it goes for both males and females)

·         They say “you are like a sister to me”

·         They constantly just forget that you are female and call you dude, bro, my man, bra… ALL THE TIME (and okay yes, sometimes this does happen to friends that have this type of chilled friendship, but take it as a hint, If they call you BRO…chances are that man does not think of you as “FUTURE POTENTIAL”

·         He asks you about other girls or …your friends.

·         Forgets about you over long periods of time but then decides to be your best friend when he is bored

·         He just seems way to comfortable (If a guy likes you, surely the initial stages should have a bit of excitement and nerves, certainly not the comfort level of me and my granny)

·         Treats you like you are his mother

·         Asks for relationship advice

·         Excessive texts with lots of  information about himself and what he did in his day

·         Excessive self-disclosure (okay yes ‘getting to know’ each other is good, if you only met and becoming friends or when there is intention from both sides of possibly dating, but sharing your deepest emotions, family dramas or self-challenges with your ‘male’ buddy? ! RED flag, you might be getting the ‘friendzone’ card.)

·         He is willing to bake with you and is not gay

·         Wants you to hang out with his family but introduces you as one of his ‘dearest friends’

·         Only seems to be available when he need something (oh hello “friend-of-convenience-zone”)

·         If the guy says anything to the effect of “we have such a special friendship” or “I’m blessed with you as my close friend”, “You are my best friend”, “we are great buds”…FRIENDZONE

·         He buys you cards, frames, key- rings or magnets with the words “ friends forever on it, or best friends” (… friends forever and always you WILL EVER BE)

·         You can hang out alone, and he never tries a thing (relax, I don’t mean in the dodgy sense, I mean even just like simple flirting, throwing out compliments or trying to get on to the topic of relationships) If you and your bestie can hang out alone come day or night, you are in the friendzone.

·         He only wants to see you in the daytime

·         He feels the urge to fist pump or high five you. (Seriously, if a guy is fist bumping, and high fiving a girl, she might as well be his brother or fishing buddy)

·         If he uses any of the following in text messages

o   Hey buddy, bud, budlet, dude, dudet, mate

o   Hello my sister in Christ

o   Be blessed

o   Take care

o   All the best

o   Bless your soul

o   Hey my sister bud friend

o   Yo bro

o   Yo my man

o   Yo champ

o   Etc…. any of these, you guessed right, you are in the FRIENDZONE.

Now this goes without saying, sometimes it may be that both parties want to be in the friendzone, it is safe, easy, uncomplicated and it may even work for a while. If it works for both, great, go besties go, I wish you all the best with that friendship!! But if it is not working, get out and RUN.

Till next time xxx