Smells like Summer... the dawn of a new year!

So it's been a while since I blogged, 3 months to be exact, I dont know why I just lost some inspriation and before I knew it... bam, the year was almost gone.

So as 2012 is coming to a close I look back at this year, wow. So much has changed, so many people have left my sphere of life, so many new people have entered it. It has been a year of challenge and change but through it all I still find contentment and joy.

This year I faced the most hectic challenges of facing full time honours and my first job. A wirl wind it has been, and haha sad to say I's not quite finished with my research work just yet. One thing I've learnt about my personality is that I just love procratination, that will never change.

Work life. Well I adjusted quickly, well as quiclkly as I could. My last day tomorrow then I go on holiday, so stoked. I must say, I can't imagine how to live without a pay cheque anymore ;) So 2013, I'll be back in my little storeroom office in 2013, but with a big loss, my fellow partner in crime is leaving for Germany. Sad times, I can honestly say without her, life at work would have not been the same. So here's to all the good laughs, memories, photos, food shoving and funny stories with her ;)

Family, well our added member is all grown up and running around now. Tyler, he will soon be a little heart breaker, but a handsome one at that! I'm hoping to see him more now that I am on holiday. As for my parents, well looks like we moving house again, in the new year and as for my bro, well looks like he's finally going to be moving on to the bigger things in life to Jozi!

Friends, wow. Talk about a rollercoaster. Through all the ups and downs though, I can say I cherish the ones around me. For those who have left and those who have just become a part of my heart. One huge lesson learnt this year wa sthat people change and we have to let them. So be it if their time in your life was for a season, sometimes the best thing to do is to let go and start a new adventure.

Life is full of possibilites, I am so keen for summer and good holiday memories. As for 2013. Bring it on, I'm ready for my second year of work. Ampted on another fresh year with our youth minisrty, God is doing amazing things in our teens lives and in turn changing our lives too!

This might or might be my last post for the year, if it is... well happy summer world!

peace x x

A fresh perspective on Faith and Actively waiting

You ever in a situation where things are just not working out and it sucks? And then someone say’s “just wait on God’s timing”…and you seem to wait and wait and wait and you get over the cliché words. Things are out of your control and you end up losing the thing you wanted to keep so dear to you.

So the context.

You know something so well, it’s a habit, could be your job or a person you like or a dream that you’ve always held onto or perhaps a stagnant friendship. But as you grow up and you change, seasons change, it seems like those ‘things’ you were hanging onto seem to be slipping away.

In that time it is tough to be in that situation, it feels like things are being ripped from you and you will never get it back again. But some small quiet voice in the back of your mind is saying “Don’t worry, BE STILL, WAIT”.

So you say to yourself, I’ll never find a better job, or I’m never going to find someone better than him or could I have done something different? Am I passing up these opportunities?

An awesome quote I heard the other day was this “FAITH has to post signs on it… SLOW DOWN and WAIT HERE”

I have no doubt in my mind now how true that saying is…waiting is for a reason and the BEST is yet to come. A while back I thought I couldn’t possibly find better than what I had at that time. But rip them away…and change a few things up in life. Suddenly everything has changed and I think to myself. What was I thinking before? That was only a glimpse of what I could have in life, a glimpse of what I could do with life.

Since that time, I have developed a serious love of self- time and just dwelling on life and future dreams. Keep dreaming big, they always say. And that is what I will do. Sometimes the good is taken away from you to prepare you for something even greater.

I can feel the dawning of an exciting new chapter, when it will begin? I don’t exactly know but the butterflies I get from just knowing that it will be better than the last makes me smile and gives me hope. Until then I will wait, actively not passively. Waiting is never forever, it is temporary.

Much love xxx

Quality over Quantity

I pose the question?

Wouldn't you rather have 10 good friends than 30 or 40 average friendships that seem more like aqaintances than anything else.

Getting older, I realized seasons change, people change and so do our friendships, I love fellowship and I love my friends but I firmly believe now more than ever that a "friend" is not classified as a friend if you ...

1. Only see them at one of your other friends birthday parties and say hello or goodbye.

2. Never get asked how you are or never receive any sort of trace via text message, house visit, heck even facebook or twitter ..a trace of friendship that is.

3. They only come to your events when thee is free food or all their close friends are coming.

4. If you wouldn't hang out one on one with them (and now obviously im not talking about say if one of your girlfrieds has a boyfriend and you think you and the guy should hang out in order to be friends, NO, usually its rather creepy to be hanging out with your friends boyfriend alone, unless you are his sister or cousin, I'm sure the girlfriend would agree.)

5. I guess the biggest test would be if you and a friend can still keep in touch if circumstances change and one or both now live in different cities or countries.

Friendships are maintenance, but a good maintenance, they need effort, from both sides. They are not single roads, they are two way streets!

Funny random story for the day: so a guy at uni today, who I have known for at least 4 years and even have on facebook and actually had coffee with a group of people many a time. Well he walked up to me and said "hi are you Amber?" so I looked at him and laughed saying back, "Are you kidding?"

So the man says "No really are you not Amber (insert confused and serious look on his face)?",

So I said in a polite manner "No I am not and well ive know you very years, so you should know what my name is."

The man walked along saying "So worry, well then what is your name, Lauren perhaps ey?" the end.

You see ladies and gents...THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF PURE CONFUSION, and no I wouldn't considor us friends. haha.

Till next time xxx

I now pronounce you "friendzoned". "Hi five my sibling".

I found myself having some good laughs and debates about the topic of “the friendzone” the other night and so after doing some research decided it was time for a bit of a blog post.

It seems like a pretty black and white thing right, “hey we are friends” …but NO. Sometimes you just have that ‘one’ friend who may mean something more to you but he or she thinks of you as one of their limbs or a brother/sister. Like any disease the Friendzone epidemic hits like no other, quiet, subtle and one-sided and slowly builds up until it takes over, like a bad habitual rash.

Okay so here we have a guy and a girl. They seem like really good friends right, but who likes who? Do they both like each other? Or wait, is the one poor soul just waiting on the other to finally notice that he or she is more than their “bestie”.

I think there are definitely the exceptional friendships where a single guy and girl can be “just friends” over a long period of time, but that’s different. I think in that case both parties just know that there is nothing more than sibling love ;).

Okay so I’ve borrowed a few ideas from numerous articles as well as compiled some of these signs from other friends, both males and females. What I’ve come up with here is a list of telling signs, I’d say if a persona experiences a few of these then well, shame for you. YOU ARE IN THE FRIENDZONE my dear…

So take them or leave them, believe or not. But be warned, be shocked and even take this as advice for future reference haha ;)

You are in the friend zone if…. (I’m just going to say it from a girl’s perspective but it goes for both males and females)

·         They say “you are like a sister to me”

·         They constantly just forget that you are female and call you dude, bro, my man, bra… ALL THE TIME (and okay yes, sometimes this does happen to friends that have this type of chilled friendship, but take it as a hint, If they call you BRO…chances are that man does not think of you as “FUTURE POTENTIAL”

·         He asks you about other girls or …your friends.

·         Forgets about you over long periods of time but then decides to be your best friend when he is bored

·         He just seems way to comfortable (If a guy likes you, surely the initial stages should have a bit of excitement and nerves, certainly not the comfort level of me and my granny)

·         Treats you like you are his mother

·         Asks for relationship advice

·         Excessive texts with lots of  information about himself and what he did in his day

·         Excessive self-disclosure (okay yes ‘getting to know’ each other is good, if you only met and becoming friends or when there is intention from both sides of possibly dating, but sharing your deepest emotions, family dramas or self-challenges with your ‘male’ buddy? ! RED flag, you might be getting the ‘friendzone’ card.)

·         He is willing to bake with you and is not gay

·         Wants you to hang out with his family but introduces you as one of his ‘dearest friends’

·         Only seems to be available when he need something (oh hello “friend-of-convenience-zone”)

·         If the guy says anything to the effect of “we have such a special friendship” or “I’m blessed with you as my close friend”, “You are my best friend”, “we are great buds”…FRIENDZONE

·         He buys you cards, frames, key- rings or magnets with the words “ friends forever on it, or best friends” (… friends forever and always you WILL EVER BE)

·         You can hang out alone, and he never tries a thing (relax, I don’t mean in the dodgy sense, I mean even just like simple flirting, throwing out compliments or trying to get on to the topic of relationships) If you and your bestie can hang out alone come day or night, you are in the friendzone.

·         He only wants to see you in the daytime

·         He feels the urge to fist pump or high five you. (Seriously, if a guy is fist bumping, and high fiving a girl, she might as well be his brother or fishing buddy)

·         If he uses any of the following in text messages

o   Hey buddy, bud, budlet, dude, dudet, mate

o   Hello my sister in Christ

o   Be blessed

o   Take care

o   All the best

o   Bless your soul

o   Hey my sister bud friend

o   Yo bro

o   Yo my man

o   Yo champ

o   Etc…. any of these, you guessed right, you are in the FRIENDZONE.

Now this goes without saying, sometimes it may be that both parties want to be in the friendzone, it is safe, easy, uncomplicated and it may even work for a while. If it works for both, great, go besties go, I wish you all the best with that friendship!! But if it is not working, get out and RUN.

Till next time xxx

10 things a girl can’t live without

(well this girl at least)...

1.       Eye liner. The difference between looking dead or alive

2.       Lip-ice. No-one likes chapped lips, and everyone wants to borrow yours if they don’t have anyway.

3.       A bottle of water. Keeping hydrated is the way forward.

4.       Girlfriends on speed dial, or at least bbm or whatsapp ...so you can share your latest news or if you need to vent at 12am

5.       A dose of retail therapy. Shopaholics unite with smiles and joy.

6.       Ghd. Straightener, you have saved me from many bad hair days.

7.       Gum boots. So we can walk through puddles like a BOSS

8.       A phone. Always the safe thing to stay connected ;)haha

9.       Some spare change. Never know when you just need a mc flurry or a cuppa coffee to make your day happy

10.   Tissues. There is always a need to carry tissues with you, there just is. And no not just to cry or sneeze.

xxx

A thought on CHANGE "We live and we learn"

So im busy reading an amazing book at the moment by Martin Smith. Wow a man of much wisdom.

He talks alot about CHANGE.

"Not in his goals but in his transitions man is great." - Ralph  W. Emerson

Smith reckons that CHANGE is the nature of contemorary life and that it is these 'transitional phases' that man goes through that proves his identity and charachter. good word.

We often meet people who say "yes i love change" or on the contrary we get others that say "I hate change, I love routine and order".

Truth be told, change is inevitable. Seasons come and go, and as people we CHANGE, and things change, are friendship groups change, our circumstances, phases of life, new jobs, moving to a new church or city or country even. one day we single next day we might find ourselves planning a wedding or beginning a family. One day we might be a student next thing we are in the working world.

But whatver happens, Smith puts emphisis on the TRANSITION. Tht its not so much the end goal that we should rely on or strive to accomplish but the journey through our transitional phases and chow those transitions mould us into the people we are becoming.

Towards the end of the chapter called "Keep the Faith" Smith says "transitions begin with an ending...Sometimes these endings are messy, sometimes smooth, sometimes terrifying. Often we have to takethose first steps in the predawn darkness"

He closes with this "When the wold is changing , we simply have to fix our eyes on something that never changes."

My new life motto has become this. "you live and you learn".. whether it'slearning from our family, friends, a tragedy, a mistake, an accomplishment, your pastor or a role model... we live and we learn. We never stop learning, we go though change, and the change moulds us and are charachters. We learn from our mistake or learn what works for us and what makes us happy or gives us joy.

peace xxx

the start to my morning...the use of time...wasted or useful?

The funny random pictures that made me chuckle this morning :)...they have utterly nothing to do with this post....

So its midweek, little saturday as they call it ;)

My thought for the day? is what do people do with their spare time? Ive always been the type of person who is just busy, ALL THE TIME. and no this is not always a good thing. Ever since I was in high school Ive always just channelled my spare time into doing 'stuff'.

 If I think of a typical week, I cant say I ever have one free night a week, or on a weekend there always seems to be some event, some birthday, wedding, engagement, baby shower,some band gig, some church function,a show or music concert perhaps or family affair, public holiday feasting or if not that by the end of the week you just need your social tanks to be filled so you force yourself to get out the house as apposed to sleeping or resting. As the quote goes, "sleep when you dead" right?

When I got to varisty in first year I was so shocked to find most of my classmates, had no hobbies or anything to do beside university. really wow?? I couldnt comprehend having that much time. But then again, maybe in little ways I would quietly envy the fact that they had so much time, I often wonder, how did I become this busy? hmmm think it's time to do some clean up and priority checks. I think I need some more me time ;)

After this year, I totally give respect to working people and will never tune them for why they want to have an 'early night' anymore.. haha I learnt the hard way.

Peace xx

the stepping stones

So been a while since I've blogged.

Past two weeks have been madness, but you learn and you live. So this is what has been some of my learning curbs...

1. the body loves sleep and rest, dont deprive it. It will show you who is BOSS and give up on you. Yes after a week of disturbed sleep and pulling all-nighters due to honours I came out after this weekedn, sick, tired and sincerly OVER everything haha! Lesson learned.

2. the next time I think im dreaming of the rain I WILL WAKE UP. So my drama for the week came at 230am on Tuesday morning... I thought I was dreaming of being in water and hearing the rain, but in reality, my room was flooding. Yes, indeed the geyser had burst and my room was no filling up with water. 5 days later, here I am, currently living on the floor in my study with 'stuff'. Room is bare and waiting for new paint, new carpets, new curtains, new bed, furniture. well that was eventful.

3. When life gets overwelming. STOP.

Theres a difference between being busy and being overwelmed. this past week, I dont think ive ever felt so stressed. Ever felt that everyone wants a piece of you, but they all have so many of their own issues that you feel like you cant share yours? well yes. ta da ;)

Its all about the mind at the end of the day. So when life hands you lemons and you have no evergy to whip up some lemonade, all I could do was sit back and stop. Just stop. stop. pause and reflect.

4. When your world is spinning. Pray :) the message lasnight at our church really hit home.

Life is all bout what we make of it, we choose to see things, to say things, to think things and to DO things. We need to constantly renew our mindsets to not be drowned out by the mess and drama of the world. Why are we always striving? what if the things we are contstantly striving for just never came. we need to find peace and contentment.

5. Remind yourself that lifes a journey not a race and you must always have the bigger picture in mind.

Keep it real xxx

When its cold and im uninspired to work. bleh

The net does wonderful things for my life when I'm feeling cold and flu-ish...

Procrastination has hit home once again ladies and gents.
I dont know why, maybe its just me but these are a list of the things I tend to WANT to do whilst in procratination mode.

1. Hit a solid facebook sesh (easy wastes an hour)
2. Find some funny ecards on tumblr and laugh by yourself
3. Paint my nails
4. clean my cupbords
5. have the urgancy to write a song or play an instrument
6. watch some series
7. make a 'to do list'
8. day dream about weekend plans
9. Make my files neat and tidy
10. highlight stuff...anything..notes, my diary
11. have a legit nap
12. Clean and straigten my hair for no reason at all
13. Want to go shopping
14. feel the need to bake or cook
15. feel the need to send message to friends you havent seen in a while
16. Go to gym

So basically, moral of the story, when one procrastinates it turns me into a OTT hygenic neat freak, with an obssion to be girly and domesticated and fit?

Funny what the brain does.

Thought of the day

Till next time xx

It’s the difference that counts.

Living in a world where we always running to find the new adventure, meeting new people, working hard to reach your goals, running in circles, living life, having your ups and downs, fun and sadness in between. Ever wanted to just stop?

So after just doing more and more…it would be always wise to step back and take a break. It is not so much doing everything but how we do the things we do.

Do we do the things we do because we feel obligated or because we couldn’t think of life without them? What if everything we had to do disappeared, our schedules, work, study, play, duties.

My pastor said last Sunday that “it is not what makes us happy but where you find it that makes us happy.”

“Happiness is a relative thing based on what we have and don’t have” It’s short lived and runs out. So what then? Why is the world so hell bent on having a pursuit of happiness?

The truth is that we need to recognise what it is that we need. And this is what it is…JOY.

Joy is not limited to anything; it’s being content with your life, in the good times and the bad.

Joy is not just limited to laughter or happiness, it’s worth more than a fun weekend or road trip. It is our desire to live our dreams, it is our passion to try new things, and it is our will to live healthily. It is the delight we take in doing things that make us smile, or the people who make our hearts happy

So it’s the difference that counts, the difference between happiness and Joy. Where do people find their Joy?

The fact is that Happiness is often found in the external, the outside, the world that keeps on striving for more. But what if we just stopped and found a place of peace and rest RIGHT where we are at right now.

The revelation that there is no need to strive is amazing once we realize that the Joy we are looking for does not comes from us mere beings, but from the One that gave us breath, the One that gave us the will to pursue happiness, the One that planted the desire in our hearts to want things and do things.

Happiness comes from the world. But JOY comes from a relationship with God.

Simplicity at its best ;)

Much love xxx

*verse for the week:

Nehemiah 8:10 (NLT)

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Fruit weigher by day, Engineer by night? Huh!

So my tale goes a little like this...

Once upon a time I was chilling with some university mates down by the beachfront. Yeah yeah okay I was roped into a night of Kareoke... (gotta keep up with my oriental roots you know haha)...
Anyway so its my turn to take the stage and boom, out of no where... this man comes running to the front saying, "can i sing with you?" ...oh dear.

Needless to say shame I couldn't say no, so the man tried singing along at the top of his lungs, not realising that the sound guy switched off his microphone.

By the end of it all I guess it provided the crowd with some entertainment. Anway moving on...I walk down and try to get back to my friends, but to my astonishment got stopped by this poor soul and his friends. Long story short, these dudes followed me to my table and started chatting to my friends. It seems his friends were GERMAN and couldnt really speak english.

So before making our way home, it seemed that the polite PE thing to do was ask these guys what they do for a living and well the dialogue went a little like this:

Me: Hi, so um what do you all do?
Kareoke star: Hi my name is..bla bla bla... and we engineers at WV, these are my friends from Germany doing their internship here and Im just showing them around town....
Me: Ok cool...



Time flys....

Two weeks later, hmm could be three?

Me and my friend are on our work lunch break and go to pick n pay to buy some fruit. After selecting some fresh goodness we go to get it weighed. and as I turn around....I think I actually turned around twice...it was the kareoke man? (in my head...What um why are you here....didnt this guy say he works at VW...um maybe its a extra thing, hobby perhaps? umm? SHOCK SHOCK HORROR)... I kinda felt bad for him, although he didnt seem embarresed at all, maybe he was an engineer at night? haha...So I just went up to him and said hello and carried on with life.

So turns out the man is a fruit weigher not an engineer...
Thought of the day: Why hide what you really are? Somehow the truth will always find you. Maybe cliche but man people should just do what they do and live. Theres no where you can really run to especially in a little town.

How far would a guy or girl go to impress a bunch of other girls or guys? well its pretty clear what not to do ;) It made me wonder what some other guys would do to impress a girl? Hopefully be a bit more subtle and less imaginative.

So THAT awkward moment when an engineer is not actually an engineer. well yup thats happened.

Keep it real xxx

The HUGGER games

So hugging. What’s all the fuss about ey?

Ever had one of those cringing hugs where you just want to run away or laugh? Or what about you go in for the hug and get a hi five instead or even better the side swoop? Hmm ever been crushed to the core by a full hug and had to 'blessing pat' your way out? Or what about just a good old natural hug with two friends that just makes you feel happy, welcomed.

I knew I had to blog about this some time or another. It seems HUGS never fail to be a hot topic for conversation between friends and family. Haha after retelling some epic stories of ultimate awkward hugs and doing the re-enactment of them. I finally found the inspiration to do a little research and splash the scoop ;)

Take it or leave it this is what the experts say…

So they say the most important thing to remember is that you always have to remember the context of the hug, “who are you hugging”

Um there a few categories it seems, but I guess I’m not going into such fine detail and just gonna keep it at the old ‘hug between friends’.

“Most of us have found comfort in the hugs of good friends or family members in times of stress or trouble. Athletes celebrate victories by hugging their teammates. We use hugs to wish someone good luck; show support; or say hello, goodbye and goodnight. Sometimes we hug each other for no reason at all”

Dr. Jennifer Schlegel, assistant professor of anthropology at Kutztown University says:

"Hugs are affirming," "The tension goes down, and people are just happier."

“The connection that people feel after sharing a hug goes back to the fact that hugs reinforce our social relationships.”
"Hugging is a joint experience, a joint accomplishment, "It's not something that you can do by yourself."

Scenario, you at a braai or a dinner or coffee sesh at a mates house. Room full of people. BOOM, game on for the hugs… lest see what type of hugs everyone gives.

They say you can tell a lot about people from the way the hug as well as you can tell a lot about the type of friendship you have with the person. The two most common hug types is

1.      The full frontal

What the experts have to say:

·         A full hug is what you see goods friends or people who are in a relationship give

·        When a person hugs another person and wraps their arms around the other person fully it takes plenty of trust on the part of the person who is getting the hug.

·        People who receive full hugs are not strangers and this hug is not an accident or casual it is intentional.

·          It's considered a heart-to-heart hug.

·         Hugs are used as a form of communication and they generally occur among people of equal status.

·       You're communicating that your relationship with that person is solid.
"It's like saying, 'We're good,'

2.      The A frame side hug

What the experts say:

·         Reading this body language would give you the idea that the person is an acquaintance or a relatively new friend

·         The half hug may be used in a social situation where there are many people to meet and greet with.

·         From a distance it looks like the two people are making an A

·         may turn into a bro hug where one arm is used to wrap around the other person or it could even be a full hug where both parties wrap their arms around each other

·         This encounter may seem unusual because the body language shows a lack of comfort.

·         The whole aura may even make bystanders who are reading the body language subconsciously uncomfortable.

So what type of hugger are you?

Crazy random facts: DID YOU KNOW?

WHAT? “Some people take hugging to a new level with free hugs events. These events, some of which can be seen on a video sharing website such as YouTube, portray people in various cities who head to the streets, carrying signs that say free hugs”

WHY? “Generally, a hugger waits for someone to approach, and then provides a hug. The duration and intensity of hugs vary, you sense that the overall mood of people on the street improves.”

So at the end of the day the bottom line is this…

“A hug can mean something or a hug can mean nothing, it depends upon the situation and the context of where the people are.”

A hug is a two way thing and wow do we get our fair share of awkward huggers. I guess the truth behind an awkward hug is the fact that the other person involved send off a certain vibe, may it be negative and uncomfortable or on the other hand it can be warm and welcoming.

My own truth to the tale:

Personally I don’t think all that much into the hug before I hug someone. Hug me, I’Il hug you back.

I have come to the conclusion that if someone doesn’t like hugging that’s chilled, your own prerogative but if your friends generally hug, just build a bridge and get over it .I think people reciprocate the other persons ‘vibe’ when put into a situation. I’ve found that I love hugs with people who love hugs too, honestly its natural and good sign of strong friendship. And then of course we have those that are awkward, mmm to go inside the head of those people? I would love to know ;) I guess you could say it has to do with their personal boundaries.

Well you gotta love em all anyway ey, huggers, non huggers, side huggers.

Happy hugger games to you all :)

Peace out xxx